


November without you...

by reddragonprincess



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Complicated Relationships, Drama, Drama & Romance, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2019-11-26 03:15:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18175124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reddragonprincess/pseuds/reddragonprincess
Summary: Elain ends up broken after battle with king Hybern. She didn't just get a mate she didn't ask for, she also got a sneer power and an immortal life... no one seems to get her but what will happen when an illirian with hazel eyes approaches her? also, what if she starts to feel uncontrollably drawn to her mate?





	1. I believe in you

**Author's Note:**

> Hi this is my first fic... plz don't judge me :(

<<Broken... you are broken... nobody loves you, not even your sister...>>  
after being converted against her own will into a sneer and a fae, Elain Archeron have been constantly harrased by the cauldron. She was just getting started to get used to it, but it didn't meant she liked it. Just before the cauldron could continue to bother her thoughts in the middle of her daily visit to her garden, a pair of blue siphons appeared in front of her eyes.

-Good evening, Azriel- Elain said with a timid smile

-Good evening, lady Archeron how's your day?- the illyrian asked with a soft voice

-I've been better, but right now, I would just like to keep my mind in blank while I take care of this disaster- after the war, her little garden have been converted to almost ashes... She was thankful that she survived, that was more than what others less fourtunate could say, but still she couldn't help but miss her little piece of paradise.

-If that is the case, please excuse myself milady- but before the scarred hand could reach the door, Elain whispered in an soft voice -But you can stay since you always have headaches from the trouble everyone else always gives you. You can stay here to keep your mind in blank too, of course if you want to...- she stated as she rubbed the ring on her finger, not meeting his eyes.

Azriel couldn't help but to smile as he remembered the solstice gift the sweet Elain gave him a couple of months ago. So, Azriel decided to grab a pot and to plant a tulip, just as Elain have tought him on the first night she arrived to the night court. Azriel have thought that those days have long gone, due that since the War had come to an end, he had been busy accompaning his high lord and lady into diplomatic missions that he thought Lady Elain have completely forgot about him. When in reality, Elain felt more peaceful when the illyrian warrior was around. Althought, she would never admitted it outloud. Since her first day into the night court, Azriel was the only one who have acted normal around her. He didn't saw her as someone that was broken or crazy, he saw her as human males would look at her when her family got a fourtune once again... not with fear but with gallantry and with that look that stated that he wanted to protect her. She knew maybe she just have imagined all of that so she wouldn't actually break, but she didn't mind. While she keep thinking about how she appreciated Azriel, how she saw him as a lifesaver during one of her darkest moments ever, she felt a trail of ¿jealousy? Just as she was wondering where that feeling came from she raised her sight and with her fae eyes she catched a glimpse of a red headed fae who she knew had every reason to be jealous.  
It's not that Lucien was a bad person, but still she didn't knew how to act with someone she was supposed to love, but she barely knew. She decided to act as if she didn't saw him and focused on the hands with the blue siphons that were trying to make a hole in the dirt to plant the tulip. Azriel seem so concentrated in his task, that Elain couldn't help but to smile while she remembered that since her first night in the night court and today, Azriel didn't have the patience necessary to plant something. So, like in her first night in Velaris, she showed a timid smile and went to help him. But while she was teaching him how to cover up the hole again with soil, their hands touched while they were trying to cover it up completely. Elain showed a shocked expression while she could sense her face blushing.  
-Sorry my scars are pretty nasty to touch lady, my apologies, it won't happen again... - Azriel excused himself with an embarrased voice. Elain knew she had hit a soft point, _damn_  she thought. But she reacted immediately and before he could add anything else, she interrupted:  
-No, my apologies Azriel, its just because I haven't had any human contact beside my sisters' since I became fae, so I am still getting used to this amplified sensations. Don't worry, to be honest it was nice to feel a familiar touch since you have already grabbed my hand when you hand me the truth-teller months ago- she added almost to herself. The shadowsinger's eyes grew bigger while he just said a simple -Okay, milady- while he continued to plant the blue tulip seed.

Elain spend all evening with Azriel, trying to fix little by little the small garden in Velaris. Azriel wasn't much of a talker bus surpriningly he asked in a careful tone:

-When you killed King Hybern did you talked to the shadows to help you to hide yourself?- 

Elain couldn't help but to wonder: how did he knew? of course, he was a shadowsinger, shadows told him everything anytime... So, Elain decided to just tell the truth

-To be honest, I am no quite sure myself what happened that day. It's not like I could talk to them, but the moment I saw Hybern, something within me, I am no quite sure what called for the shadows. I vagely remember hearing a soft voice whispering into my ear " _don't worry mistress, we hear your call and we came to protect you_ ". I didn't have time to be surprised or scared because after I heard that voice, shadows surrounded me and I just remember I felt protected by them and grateful because they literally saved my life. I have no idea what I would have done if they didn't showed up. They kept me safe until I could approached close enough to Hybern, right in time to save my sister and Cassian.- _But not my father_ , Elain thought- Why would you ask?- she said in a neutral tone. 

-To be honest miss Archeron, I think you are quite a magnet for shadows. I haven't told you anything until now, but everytime I try to summon my spies while I am with you, they just seem drowned to you. I am not sure how but shadows seem to like you. Even more that they like me, if I had to guess. I am saying you might be a low-key shadow singer or something similar. I am not quite sure myself, since I never saw anything like it.  I wanted to offer you my help, because shadows can be tricky if you don't learn to control them...- Azriel explained as clearly as he could, since he knew darkness could be scary, but its power could seduce even the most innocent souls. He knew that Elain wasn't just a seer, the caludron have given her something more. Elain kept a poker face, not sure how to react to the new information Azriel had just spilled, she gulped before answering:

-I am not sure I had a gift but right now I could use any distraction, so I would really like that. But if you are going to be my tutor... don't you think you should just call me Elain? I mean I just called you Azriel but it would be weird if my tutor called me miss archeron or milady-

-Are you sure? I mean on both the tutorings and to leave the honorifics behind miss Archeron?

-Yes Azriel

-Then, we shall go back to the house to sleep,  _Elain_ - 

-Yeah I think we do, Azriel- the spymaster offered her his hand, as he always did since the night he met her. Upon hearing her name with Azriel's voice, a little smile formed in Elain's face. Azriel noticed it too and felt relieved when he felt her soft skin against his once again. They walked toward the house, in silence as they usually did during these days. When they arrived to her door, Azriel let go Elain and said in a neutral tone

-Good night, Elain

-Good night, shadowsinger- Elain said in a timid tone. She saw the illyrian disappeared as he walked to his high lord's office, but before she opened her door, she heard someone calling her name. _No way_ she thought as she saw a red headed fae, her _mate_.

-Lucien. What do you want?- she said with the flat tone she used with him. 


	2. Your gaze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucien has something to tell to Elain. She starts to wonder if she is feeling really drawned to Lucien, or is it the mate bond?

-Good night Lucien what do you want?- Elain said as her  _ mate _ approached her. 

-Good night Elain, I was just wondering what were you doing...- Elain just felt awkward as she did most of the time Lucien was around. Not that she wanted to be deliberately rude but, she didn't like to feel forced to doing anything, especially to love someone. She loved her freedom, but she learned to really appreciated since she was forced to become a Fae by obligation. That day Elain lost her freedom over two things: of what to be and who to love, or at least that's how it felt like. Also, not long ago she was about to get married to Greysen. She knew he didn't love her anymore, but still she was so confused. Elain haven’t even taken off the ring her ex-fiancé have gave her. 

_ What I least need right now is more drama _ , the seer thought and the fact that her mate was unsuccessfully trying to court her didn’t help. 

-I was just about to go to sleep, so if you would excuse me…

-Wait- Lucien almost shouted

Elain stared at him.  _ How dare he? _ She thought

-Excuse me?

-My apologies, Elain. I was just wondering what are you doing tomorrow?

-I am spending the morning Nuala and Cerridwen and then I am going to the garden with Azriel I guess.- Elain could notice Lucien frowning when he heard the shadow singer's name. 

-Do you think you could have a tea with me tomorrow morning? Also, Feyre told me you liked flowers. I brought you a sunflower’s pot, they are famous in the autumn court. 

Elain wanted to show a poker face, but the minute she saw the sunflower, she couldn't help but to show a little smile as she grabbed the pot. She could imagine how beautiful they would grow.  _ Damn  _ she thought, now she couldn’t refuse his invitation without looking like an ungrateful bitch. She wished she could have Nesta’s bitchiness right now. 

-Sure, I like pennyroyal tea with a sip of milk- Elain whispered. Lucien was about to raise his hand to take off a piece of a leaf on Elain’s hair. But before he had a chance, Cerridwen appeared and covered up Elain’s body while howling at Lucien. 

-Oh cauldron, how long have you been there?-Elain asked Cerridwen 

-She had been here all along, I could sense some darkness indeed, tell me spy, does your master told you to follow Elain all along?- Lucien demanded to know.

-No, my master doesn’t know anything about this, not that you care but we are here to protect miss Elain, even from you -

Elain didn’t knew how but she did it again, just like when she killed Hybern. She had summoned the shadows, or at least that’s what she concluded.  _ Thanks to the cauldron _ , she thought. She wasn’t ready for any physical contact, she didn’t knew how her body would react  _ her mate _ ’s touch. Elain decided to take advantage of the twin’s interruption to open her door and after a  _ good night _ whisper, the seer and her sunflower pot disappear behind the door. 

Months ago, Elain have noticed some things have changed during her sleep. During the nights, she could sense something guarding her sleep. Not like a presence, but more like an aura. She felt something, rather than someone protecting her during the nights. Back when she was human, she thought she was crazy, that she hallucinated all those feelings. But now with her Fae constitution, she was more convinced than ever. Elain have just stopped thinking about it until that night. When Elain was having a night sleep in Velaris, she heard a low shriek, but still high enough to wake her up. She cautiously woke up, looking what or who have caused that sound. The seer was looking around when all she noticed different was that the sunflower was now, she could swear the sunflower was emitting a little sparkle and she saw something near her balcony, a cat’s shadow. She assumed a cat have emitted the sound, but just as she opened her balcony to look for the cat, the shadow had disappeared. 

_____________

 

When Elain woke up, she spended her day as usual, she helped Nuala and Cerridwen in the kitchen. Back into the human world, Elain thought she knew all types of food or ingredients that could be cooked, but in Velaris it was all different. Different herbs, different plants, different vegetation. She just wanted to try them all so everyday she would try something new just. If it ended nice, she would share it with everyone during the dinner, but if it tasted horrible, she would just throw it again. She was just taking care of the last preparations for the dinner, that Elain completely forget about the cup of tea she had agreed to share with Lucien. The seer remembered it when she saw the fae standing in the door, waiting for her. Elain just sighted and took off her apron, to leave a lovely mustard dress at sight. She excused herself while she noticed Nuala grinning al Lucien before the seer and her mate walk out the door. Elain had just taken a seat in the garden when she smelled the perfectly beverage in front of her. 

-So, tell me Elain how have you been?- the fae asked her while he took a seat as well

-Fine, I guess considering it all

-Have you enjoyed Pythrian so far? 

-Yes, it’s not al all like my house but since Feyre and Nesta are here, I am okay wherever we are.- Elain declared

-You seem tired... are you completely sure you are fine Elain?- Lucien looked deeply concerned.

-Yeah, it’s just that yesterday I had a bad sleep- The seer was just looking for a quickly way out, she had never felt more awkward in her entire human and fae life. She started to drink her tea faster than usual.

-Why would you say that?- she felt interrogated, the seer was clearly starting to loose her patience. 

-I don’t know, nightmares or visions I guess- she stated. 

-You know I know an excellent healer in the summer court, he might just be what you need…

Elain decided it was enough.  _ No, no more healers… I am already starting to accept my visions. _

-Thanks Lucien but you see I am not sick. I am a seer and more powerful that I ever expected to be. I already accepted my  _ disease  _ as it but if you would excuse me I need to go back to the kitchen.Thanks for the tea.- Elain was staring to get up, ready to leave when Lucien get up and went beside her and grabbed her hand. 

-Please, Elain. I can’t afford to loose you, not like I lost her...- Lucien murmured with a lump in his throat.

Elain stand still. She was ready to leave but somehow she lost her conviction. She felt a rush of electricity running through her veins. Her heart started to beat out loud. She didn’t wanted to leave, she wanted to hug the fae behind her and told him everything would be alright. She have heard about how powerful the mating bond could be, but she never expected to appear so suddenly and with such intensity. So, Elain just decided to stand there grabbing his hand too. Before, she was aware of what she was doing, she looked deep into his mates eyes and whispered:

-It’s okay, I am here. I am fine.

She could feel the fae looking back into her hazel eyes. He was approaching more every time. Elain realized he was trying to kiss her, bus she didn’t knew what to do. She was sure, her non mate part wanted to escape but the Elain that was Lucien’s mate that have taken control of her body. She was frozen and Lucien was approaching more every time. But before their lips could come together, Lucien lost equilibrium and fell on his knees. Before, she could do anything else, Elain went running back into the house. As she was climbing a few stairs to get back into the house, when her equilibrium was lost. She was ready to fall down when a pair of strong arms grabbed her. She felt relieved once he saw those familiar tattoos with blue siphons in her savior's arms and she knew she was safe.

 

All the feelings Elain have just went through disappeared and she felt relieved once she met those dark eyes. 

-Azriel... thank you, once again.

-It is my duty to protect you Elain, no thanks are needed.- Elain felt Azriel’s tone a little bit different. Perhaps it was a little bit cold?

-Is everything alright Azriel?

-Yes, Elain it’s just that I had a weird feeling as I was coming back to the house for our lessons. I think the shadow world was disturbed somehow. I was worried you might invoke them because you were in danger. So, the minute I get here I was wondering if anything have happened to you.- Before Elain could respond to the illyrian, Lucien appeared in the front door shouting Elain’s name. The minute he saw how the illyrian was grabbing his mate, Lucien walked toward Azriel with his knuckles turning white while Azriel put Elain beside her and took a deep breath as Elain knew, he would do just before a battle. 

-Wait- the woman declared as she stood between the two males. 

-Lucien, I think you should go

-No, we need to talk about what just happened Elain- Elain saw how Azriel wrinkled his forehead looking curious, but he didn’t let this distracted him from the fact that Elain’s mate was trying to pick a fight.

-Lucien, please. We’ll talk later.- Elain almost begged looking deep into Lucien’s eyes.

-Do you promise?

-Yes, now please just go.- Moments later the seer let out a sigh of relief as she heard Lucien’s steps approaching the door and then he was gone. -So shall we start the lesson now?- Elain asked trying to make the tension disappear by showing a great smile.

-I even make some blueberry bread if you want some, Cassian once told me it was your favorite...- She felt relieved when a little smile appeared in the shadow singer's face. 

-Yes, that would be lovely Elain- He said as the tension was leaving his body. 


	3. Unforgettable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello it's me again... sorry I was in exams :( I don't know if anyone is actually reading this but if you can, leave a kudo please :( 
> 
> Anyway in this chapter Az and Elain have his first lesson together

-C’mon Elain, just concentrate. Focus. Feel the shadows- Azriel declared.

Elain have been trying for hours to invoke some shadows, she was good. Not perfect, not like she have done that night with Hybern. She had been focusing but the shadows didn’t seem to listen her. She felt a sweat drop falling from her forehead and she tripped a little but she managed to maintain equilibrium. Azriel noticed it. 

 

-Relax Elain, let’s take 10. Come on let’s sit for a while-. Elain noticed Azriel was biting his lower lip, she felt like something was bothering him since the lessons started. Perhaps… was it because what have happened earlier with Lucien?  _ No way  _ she thought. Elain was sure Azriel had a lot on his head right now between the illyrian army losses and making sure humans were safe. But before she could keep wondering what might in his mind, he stated:

-Is Lucien bothering you?-

-What? I mean… - Elain was expecting everything except that particular question. - I don’t know… I mean … it’s not like I hate him or anything I just don’t like what he represents. I don’t know how to explain this but all I think when I see him it’s just a constant reminder of what I lost the day I became a Fae. I mean… I lost my fiancé, whom I thought was the love of my life, my house, my life and even the freedom to choose my partner you know? - _ Damn, _   _Azriel just asked if Lucien was being a pain in the ass, not the whole story_ she thought.

-Yes, I know exactly how you feel believe me. I didn’t have freedom for a long time before Rhys and Cassian, this scars are a constant reminder of those times. So I get why his only presence seems to bother you. - He said with a little smile while grabbing his burned palms. But you know you should talk to Feyre, I mean I am sure she might do something.

-That’s exactly why I don’t want to tell her. Lucien is her friend, I don’t want to put her in an awkward position. Besides, I have this strange feeling she wants me to end up with Lucien because she believes that way I will be happy because he is my  _ mate…-  _ she decided to avoid telling him about how she almost kissed him.

_ - _ You know if he ever try to do something like today, you can always call me, I mean if you manage to invoke at least a tiny shadow you can send a direct message through it. If you manage to master them, they won’t be able to understand your message and only the receiver will get it. Also, I can look up a little bit more about how shadows singers and seers can manage their power. I think if you manage to master both of them, you will be able to do amazing things Elain. 

-Yes, Azriel I would really like that. I don’t know about the seer power either, but if I manage to control them it would be nice. I haven’t had a nice sleep between the nightmares about Hybern killing Nesta and the worry that it isn’t a nightmare and that something could actually happen to Nesta or Feyre have kept me awake. Azriel can I ask you something?

-Anything

-Do you know if Faes that are mates, if they are together… would they really be happy?

His eyes opened wide as he gulped.  _ Damn. Why would you asked him that? Stupid Elain,  _ she thought. He stood still for a long time before he answered:

-I will be honest with you Elain, as far as I know mates are rare, even among fae. I mean I have been living for 500 years and I haven’t met my mate, or I don’t even know if I have one. But from what I have seem, sometimes it can be the magical. I mean, look at Rhys and Feyre, they have this awesome connection. They care each other, they protect each other and they would sacrifice their own life for the wellness of the other. I mean… they have already done it. On the other side, I met Rhys’s parents. They were mates but… her mother was so miserable. She lost herself, I mean she wanted to be free… but just like Tamlin, Rhys’s father wanted to imprison her. I have to see how little by little, she wither a little bit more each day. She thought we were too young to notice it, but since I have to grow up fast, I sure noticed it. So, to be honest I think you Elain are the only one that can answer that. 

Elain just sighted and said in a timid tone:

-Thanks Az, I was afraid to ask anyone. Since Feyre is Lucien’s friend and Nesta is pushing me away, constantly I wanted to talk to someone besides the twins, I mean with someone who is not a shadow. It was a nice change. I really appreciated it.

It was too dark to be sure, but Elain could almost swear Azriel was blushing and he just replied: 

-It’s fine Elain. You are one of us now…- Before Elain could process what that phrase implied, Azriel continued: - Let’s get back to training… 

They continued for a long time and by the end of the day, Elain have managed to send Az a message via some little shadow. Before they could continue the training, Azriel noticed Elain have fallen asleep on his shoulder. He smiled a little while he thought:  _ She is unique, even thought at first I was nice to her because she seemed broken, each day I notice there’s a unique strength within her. Not like Feyre’s nobleness or Nesta’s fearlessness but Elain have something else. If only … Stop-  _ he ordered himself-   _ she has a mate, besides she isn’t over her fiancé, she needs a friend… and that’s what I am. Besides there’s Mor. She haven’t rejected me...at least directly and she’s beautiful and I have liked her for more for a long time… -  _ While the shadow singer was lost in his thoughts, he just grabbed the seer and carried her between her arms while her head was leaning against his chest. Azriel was walking really slow, so she wouldn’t wake up. But just as he was entering the house, Rhys saw them.  _ Shit _ the shadow singer thought. Rhys was about to say something but when he noticed Elain was asleep, he just gave them a confident smile.  _ Stupid prick, this isn’t what it looks like  _ the spymaster __ thought with a poker face while he let his high Lord into his thoughts.  _ If you mean, you are not literally carrying the only person to which you have handed truth teller into her room and literally the only female to whom you have ever being kind and careful, then you are right it’s not what it looks like.  _ Azriel didn’t need to watch his high lord to confirm that he was making that stupid confident smile while he send that thought to Azriel.  _ Stupid prick  _ he thought one last time before keeping his way into Elain’s room. Once he let her on her bed, he decided to take a look into the library to look a little bit further into Elain’s powers.

….

After a few hours, he was almost done with the information available about shadow singers or seers. They were so rare, little was known about either of them. He was just about to finish one last book when he saw a chapter called:  _ Shadow singer power transferring _ . The illyrian have never seem that book, but he remembered that about a month age, the summer court have sent gifts to make clear their friendly intentions. Azriel remembered seeing a couple of books among those gifts, so he assumed that’s why he have never seen it. He decided to read it. The book stated:

 

_ <<through the years, shadow singers have been so rare among faes, that once they were discovered, they were immediately evaluated. There was a particular case in the day court. In this court a female shadowsinger was studied for a particular reason: she was an illyrian that assured she have just met another illyrian male  that was a shadow singer, just like her. When the high lord heard about this, he immediately called both shadow singers to his palace. They were both evaluated individually and separately to see if they were fit to serve their high lord. What the evaluators found out was the next: _

 

_ Shadow singer’s potency power _

 

_ Tabitha (Female, individual) → strong  _

_ Alastair (male, individual) → weak _

 

_ Tabitha (Female, together) → strong  _

_ Alastair (male, individual) → strong (sometimes even more that Tabitha) _

 

_ This lead to the question: Why would Alastair could only exert his power when he was with Tabitha? Later, the truth was found. _

 

_ Tabitha and Alastair weren’t just some strangers. They were more than that, they were a couple. Alastair could only exert his powers when Tabitha was around because Alastair wasn’t a real shadow singer. He started to be able to communicate with the shadow world after he met Tabitha. His powers could become even stronger than Tabitha’s when they were together because when he was with Tabitha, she lead the shadows towards him, to protect him. Even when Tabitha’s didn’t notice, she commanded the shadows to obey her lover when he was in danger or she felt something was wrong. This could only be explained by one simple reason:  _

 

_ Tabitha unconsciously modified the shadow world, so her lover could lead it as he pleased. The most ironic part was that neither Tabitha or Alastair knew that they weren’t just some simple lovers, they were, in fact, mates … >> _

The spymaster dropped the book and thoughts came flowing endlessly to his mind as he read that sentence. He remembered how shadows seem to like Elain even more than him. How today, moments before he arrived to the house, he have seem some shadows around Elain before he catched her. How Nuala and Cerridwen seem to immediately like her, even though they haven’t met her. How he felt the night they met… that night the first thing she have said to him was <<beautiful>>. How the night she was kidnapped by Hybern, he felt the immediate urge to rescue her, even though they have just met for a few days. How the look on those beautiful hazel eyes that were looking him while she said “you came for me” have make his heart skipped a beat, for the first time since he remembered. The way he have so easily handed truth teller. How today, he wanted to kick Lucien’s ass as much as he wanted to kick Eris’, perhaps even more. But the moment he heard Elain’s voice, his impulse vanished as quickly as it have appeared and how after that she have offered him blueberry bread… a meal.

_ No fucking way, Elain already has a mate. No freaking way this in happening. Is Elain my … mate?    _


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azriel finds out Elain could be her mate and an unexpected friendship begins...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I was taking my final exams but I finally finished :). I hope to be posting more from now on. ;)

Azriel couldn’t believe it… He had a mate? And not only that it was the most beautiful female he had ever laid his eyes on… she was sweet and kind and simply adorable… But how could he missed this? He needed answers and he needed them fast. So he went to the roof hoping to clear his mind.

When he arrived, he was clearly surprised when he saw Cassian in there as well.

 

“Hey brother, what are you doing here?” Azriel stated.

 

“I should be asking you exact the same thing Az. What’s up with your face? You look like crap” Cassian responded.

 

“Thanks for your support bro…”

 

“What the hell are you doing here little brothers?” Rhysand exclaimed as he appeared next to Azriel

 

“Az was just about to tell us the juicy secret he discovered tonight… What is it bro? Perhaps lady troubles?” Cassian said with a confident smile on his face.

 

“Shut up you prick. But if you must know I will tell you… I think Elain… you know…”

 

“Oh is it about my mate’s sister? What happened? Did she heard about the wingspan theory and she asked you if it was true?” Rhys said barely keeping a serious face. 

 

“You assholes could you be serious for one second? I am about to tell you that I think I have found my mate and it’s Elain and you won’t stop making stupid jokes about wingspans” Az said with a threatening tone.

 

“But she already has a mate. So, it can’t be possible right?” Cassian asked.

 

“Once… a long time ago, my mother told me it was possible. She told me that old legends stated that the cauldron didn’t care about status, logic or order in any way. She even told me about these high lords that had the same mate. When the female choose one of them, a war almost started between the courts but the abandoned high lord realized that the female would never be completely happy with him, even thought there was a mate bond, because she didn’t choose him on her free will. So, as a matter of fact, it is possible but the cauldron acts on mysterious forces that nobody understands brothers. The real question is: how can you be sure Elain is your mate?”

 

Azriel told them about the book he have just read and how it all fit perfectly with how he felt about Elain.

 

“I don’t know brother… I don’t think a book should tell you about who is your mate. To begin with: How does my cousin fit in all this? How do you really feel about Elain?” the night high lord asked

 

“I don’t know Rhys. I mean how were you sure Feyre was your mate?” the shadowsinger said.

 

“When Under The Mountain, she was killed indeed and in that moment I was completely sure because it felt like literally my whole existence was just taken away from me. It was as if my wings were teared up in pieces a hundred times. So, that’s why after that just knowing she was alive was a relief for me, even thought, she almost married an ass.”

 

“So… you are suggesting we put Elain under a completely dangerous situation and if Azriel feels mated we called it a day?” Cassian asked.

 

“You stupid, you are missing my point. I mean we need a strong emotion between them so we can be completely sure. Perhaps a situation where her life is on the line, a hug, a kiss or even something else. As for Mor, I think you should talk with her and you better get your feelings clear because Elain could find happiness with Lucien and if you are not going completely with Elain, you better not put another weight on her shoulders. I am not telling you this as your high lord, but as your brother”  The high lord stated. 

 

“I know, I feel like crap but please just let me be for this night. I need to sleep there were so many things for one day.”

 

“One would think that after Hybern’s battle nothing could shake the powerful high lord’s spymaster. Funny how it is a girl that yesterday asked me for help to open a pickle jar.” Cassian commented with a smile as he remembered how Elain was having a hard time with that pickle jar.

 

“May I remind you it was the same girl that killed Hybern and saved your illyrian ass on the same day?” Azriel said with a playful tone. 

 

“Fair enough” the illyrian commander said.

 

“Thanks brothers, I really appreciate it, but I think that it was a lot to process in one night. I think I need some rest” Azriel stated as he standed up.

 

“Me too, Feyre’s being in a strange mood lately” Rhys responded.

 

“Aren’t you coming Cass?” Azriel asked as he approached his room.

 

“No, I think I just stay here for a little while more” the illyrian commander stated as his brothers left him. Cass was thinking about a certain female that left him enchanted since the moment he laid his eyes on her. She was fierce and unstoppable but she was stubborn as a goat, and what was worst: she despised him. As he was thinking about these, he heard a pair of steps approaching him. When he turned around, what he expected the least was seeing Elain with a sunflower pot, ignoring him.

 

“Hey, what are you doing here miss Archeron?”. She stumbled while she looked at him with with her brown eyes wide open. 

 

“What? Oh I didn’t notice you were here mister commander. Sorry I will be going” She said while Cas could imagine how badly Elain was blushing.

 

“No, no excuse me my lady. It’s your house too. I mean is there something causing you trouble that I could help you with?. It’s my duty to take care of you. And please, no mr. commander, Cas is fine”

 

“NO, it’s nothing mister… I mean  _ Cas _ ” the seer mumbled the last word. 

 

“Look, mistress. We can do this: I will tell you something nobody knows about me and in exchange you tell me what is really going on. Really, I have been dealing lately with a lot myself and believe me, at some point you will explode. Going around carrying heavy burdens it’s not nice at all. Here it goes, when no one is watching, I go out to the a little restaurant where there serve a pizza and I always ask for one and I put chocolate syrup on top and I eat it by myself and I tell no one because Az and Rhys think is gross”

 

Cas felt relieved as he heard Elain’s laughter bursting in the middle of the night. He knew he it was a funny story but he understand it all when she whispered.

 

“I love putting ice cream on fries, but once Nesta catched me doing it and told me it was gross, since that day on, once a week I woke up in the middle of the night and go to the kitchen and prepare some vanilla ice cream with fries. Siblings are the worst” 

 

Cas couldn’t hold it and started to laugh too. After that they started joking for a while, but Cas was still worried. 

 

“Really mistress, can you tell me what is going on? I promise you I will tell no one, not even Rhys or  _ Az…  _ ” the illyrian stated as he emphasized the last part. 

 

Elain hesitated for a long time. Cas stood there in silence. He was just about to tell her that it was fine if he didn’t wanted to tell him, but then she started talking. 

 

“Days ago, Lucien brought me this sunflower, at first I thought it was no big deal. But this past few days I felt as if the sunflower was drawing me to it. I mean, I know it sounds crazy but last night I tried to use my seer powers on it and I think I invoked a sunray. I am no completely sure, I mean it could just be a vision but I came here to try to invoke sunrays again.”

 

Cassian was expecting a lot of things, except that one. He stood there with his eyes and mouth wide open. He tried to maintain serious once again when he stated:

  
“Look Elain there’s not much I can help you with, Magic is Az’s business. But I can be your friend, someone you can trust and if you let me I could hear you every time you need it. Also, Az told me about Lucien’s incident. If you want I could teach you a few basics to defend yourself. Even if you want to know about magic or anything else, I can show you the library”

 

“Thanks, I would really appreciate all the help I could get and please tell no one about this” the seer said. She was really surprised how fast this illyrian have managed to earn her trust but then she remembered how much he cared for her sisters and she assumed that in this moment, she could trust him more than in Nesta.

 

“Okay then see you tomorrow miss, have a nice sleep”the commander responded.

 

“Yes goodnight Cass. By the way; it’s Elain not miss Archeron”

 

“Well then goodnight, El”


	5. Killing me softly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I was busy with exams but I am back if anyone is actually reading this :3, enjoy :)

Elain have decided she had enough of arrogant male Faes. This had been decided this morning when she was in the woods. However, her determination to become a strong and independent Fae got frustrated moments later when she got a rash after touching a lot of poison ivy. Unfortunately poison ivy effects worked a lot faster and worse on her Fae complexion and before she realized she had a rash all over her body and decided to rest for a bit. 

 

She fell asleep until she heard a voice within her dreams…

 

“Elain…” the voice whispered. It was a soft voice, it helped her feel calmed, it was such a nice voice but at the same time so familiar. 

 

“Elain where are you?...” the voice repeated.

 

“Elain come to me…” the voice insisted, now close enough to wake her up. 

 

“Help… I am here. Please” the seer screamed. Before she realized what was happening, she saw a long red hair waving in the air. It was impossible to denight how good looking her  _ mate  _ was, even though she tried to denight it. 

 

“There you are, I thought I had lost you...” he said before letting a huge gasp of air to leave his lungs. Before Elain could do anything to resist it, Lucien got off his horse and lift her in the air before hugging her really tight. They stayed this way for a few seconds, before the male realized he might be making her mate uncomfortable and letting her go. 

 

“Sorry” he whispered as he let Elain in the ground once again and noticed the rash on her face and all over her body. 

 

“It’s fine. Don’t even mention it” she replied with a neutral voice. 

 

Before the seer could finish her last sentence, she noticed a couple of  _ sun rays _ ? Or something similar reaching her hand. It was a flow of something reaching her and second later she noticed it was fire. But it didn’t burn her… rather it make her feel empowered and totally free. The most surprising thing it was that this power was flowing out of Lucien’s hand. Seconds later the fire disappeared and the rash... was gone.

 

Her face must completely changed because immediately Lucien replied:   
  


“I have the power to heal people from many things like courses or lethal poisons and know how annoying poison ivy’s rash can be. Forgive me for doing it before asking you first.”

 

“Thanks, it actually felt nice” she said in a low voice. She decided to continue: “so does all of your brothers have this healing power?”

 

“No, or at least I don’t know for sure, when I was little my brothers once played me a cruel joke. They actually gave me a map to a supposed treasure that some antique powerful Lord of the autumn court have left behind and when I realized it, it was a map make exclusively so I ran into many fields filled with similar poison ivy as the one you just encountered. When my mother heard what my brothers have done and she found me… she was relieved when she noticed that I was completely healthy… thought when I told her what happened she made me swear to never show or tell anyone about this  _ abilities. _ Well at least until you disappeared and I couldn’t think of anything but your safety” 

 

Elain hated those kind cheesy lines, not just because until recently Greyson have said some similar things and he obviously had just said them to try to get into her pants… but because it made her feel guilty and incredibly awkward since she didn’t knew enough the Fae that was telling them, even though it was supposed that this bond worked in both ways, Elain couldn't care less to try to feel it too. But she knew it wasn’t right to show the usual indifference towards her mate because he have just saved her and opened some painful memories. 

 

“I’m so sorry, I have no idea. I mean I know siblings can be mean but I mean the worst thing Nesta ever did to me was giving me an indifferent look and pretend I didn’t exist” Elain told him to try to lighten the mood. 

 

“So you think while I escort you back to the house we could continue the conversation we were having the other day…?” the red haired fae asked

 

Elain could feel chills running through her spine as she remembered how they almost kissed and she had done nothing to try to avoid it… The male took her silence as an invitation to continue the conversation:

“I mean you know I would never ever hurt you or force you to be with me right? I already have lost someone really important to me and believe me, I wouldn’t mind if she was with someone else or if she despised me. I would just be happy to know that she is safe and breathing.” The fae continue to talk while they were walking toward the house. Just as Elain touched his shoulder to offer some comfort, she had a vision. She saw it all, the female whom Lucien have thought was hir mate, she saw it as if she was watching from the distance. She was beautiful and her mate had such different expression, he had a sweet smile and he touched the lady with such delicacy as if she was made out of glass. It was nice until she reached the part were her brothers decided to kill the beautiful lady. They were so cruel,she could only hear desperate screams, but even worse was the fact that she could hear the laughs and stupid jokes from Lucien’s brother as they were torturing the poor thing. 

 

“Stupid Lucien, this will teach you your real position. You will never be a high lord and you will always be weak because you couldn’t even save the woman you loved.” 

 

As she transported back to her body, she felt a dry tissue running through her cheeks, she had been crying and Lucien was drying her tears. She was too sad to be angry or to stay away from the Fae. She couldn’t think of anything else but to think how such an ass she had been. She had been depressed over the fact that Greyson left her, that she thought she was suffering. But she had been so wrong, at least Elain knew that Greyson have decided to left her so it was easy to despise him, but for Lucien it have been a hundred times worse. He had to watch the love of her life been killed in front of him, when clearly neither of them wanted to leave each other. Before she could think of anything else, she decided to hug the fae even though she knew that he didn’t know that she had seen a painful memory. 

 

As Elain was letting go off the Fae. Moment later,  she saw a glimpse of  _ something  _ that was watching them from a tree. But as she was ready to look up, she felt a pair of lips kissing hers. Elain didn’t knew what to do, all the lips she had ever tasted were Graysen but this was a completely different feeling. She felt an electric current running through her veins. A deep part inside her never wanted that kiss to end, but another part took control over her body.  She pushed the male away and went running away. 

 

As she arrived to the house, she saw Cassian and she decided to run through the lord commander. 

 

“El what’s up?” the lord commander asked with a big smile.

 

“Please Cass, Lucien is running toward here, I need you to tell him I am not here and that he needs to go home”

 

“Fine, but at least you could tell me why?”

 

“No” she responded

 

“Fine, so I guess you must face Lucien and see what happens because it turns out I have some important things to do, but I mean if someone would've told me exactly why she didn’t want to face a certain male I would definitely help that someone…” He replied with a mischievous smile. 

 

“I hate you, but fine just not right now, please he is coming. Tonight… I promise I will tell you tonight”

 

Before she could finish the last word, the lord commander have grabbed her and fly towards the balcony. Cass left her there in a hidden spot and went to face Lucien who have just arrived. She saw both males exchanging a few words. Elain could see Lucien was looking everywhere, she knew that he was looking for her. But a few moments later, her mate looked angrily at Cass. He was frowning but the Illyrian had that same idiotic smile and Elain couldn’t stop laughing as she imagined all the ways the lord commander teased her mate. It seemed that it worked because after a few moments, the red haired fae walked away towards the human reign. 

 

Just as she lost sight from Lucien she felt a pair of strong arms grabbing her.

 

“Thanks Cass, I owe you” the seer said

 

But as she turned toward the illyrian, she noticed the blue siphons…

 

“Sorry to disappoint you miss Archeron but I am not Cass” he said with a cold  and frighteningly neutral tone. 

 

_ Damn _ , she thought. He have stopped calling her miss Archeron since the night they met and it bothered her that he used that stupid and formal tone. <<No way, he saw that kiss. I mean he wasn’t near.>> It was strange but she had learnt to feel his presence, since the cauldron have changed her, she didn’t understand quite how but she was sure there was no one near.

 

“So, are you ready for your training today miss Archeron?” Azriel asked

 

She simply nodded as she hold on tighter to the illyrian. 

 


End file.
